We know AI is a game changer when it comes to building confidence and actually getting on dates, but that’s not to say this tech is totally without some (very valid) concerns. No one wants to find out they’re talking to a bot or worse, meet someone IRL who let AI totally convince you they’re someone they’re not. It’s a slippery slope—one that, for better or worse, we eventually need to learn to navigate.
That’s why we tapped the leading experts in the fields of both AI and dating to answer your most pressing questions, like what you need to know about protecting yourself from catfishing or whether the future of relationships really looks like the plot of a robot movie. Spoiler alert: It’s less spooky than you think.
How is using an AI matchmaker different from (or similar to) using a human matchmaker?
“My job is not only to match my clients—which, admittedly, AI can help do—but to understand their feedback and read between the lines. You’re paying for a human connection.” —Maria Avgitidis, professional matchmaker and CEO of Agape Match
What are the ethical implications of using AI tools to help with my dating profile and flirting skills?
“There’s a big difference between using technology to enhance yourself or up your flirting game and using it to deceive someone into thinking you’re a different person. In some respects, using AI to optimize your profile is a natural next step to what’s already out there (think: autocomplete and heavy filters on photos). But the ethics certainly aren’t clearly black and white. We are in an age where authenticity is becoming increasingly important to people.” —Henry Ajder, generative AI and deepfakes expert
But isn’t using AI to write better messages just hiding my real personality?
“I don’t think AI leads to a dishonest representation of a person; rather, it’s a tool to help people who struggle with socializing improve their communication skills. A few users have told me that they text more like our app now, which is to say it’s more like a coach.” —Dmitri Mirakyan, cofounder of AI-powered texting assistant YourMove AI
How do I avoid getting duped or catfished with AI in the mix?
“If you want to verify whether a photo is real, you can try a tool like AI or Not. It’s also still quite difficult to create realistic-looking videos of someone else, so you could try video-calling a potential date.” —Sam Gregory, technologist and executive director of WITNESS
How likely is it that AI will soon play a role in IRL conversations, like on actual dates?
“There are AI-powered e-wearables coming out that will listen, in real time, to your actual conversations and feed you personalized lines.”
—Lance Eliot PhD, global AI expert and Forbes columnist
But what if chatting via AI ends up making humans bad at actually talking to each other?
“I think AI can help us improve our conversational skills, in some ways, by offering practice. This technology can be great for those on the autism spectrum who may benefit from help in learning the give-and-take of social interaction.” —Mike Brooks PhD, psychologist and coauthor of Tech Generation: Raising Balanced Kids in a Hyper-Connected World
Is the movie Her going to play out in real life? Is it even possible to...fall in love with a bot?
“It’s already happening. And the AI will get better and go through your data everything you’ve ever posted online—and form an avatar or chatbot that’s your ideal companion, like in the movie. People will become enmeshed in these relationships.” —Mike Brooks PhD
